I never imagined becoming a traitor, that the day would arrive when I would bite the hand that has fed, comforted, educated and transported me around the world for much of my life.
Even making this confession feels slightly scandalous. But like any committed heretic sniffing disdainfully at old beliefs, I am compelled to share my treasonous thoughts so you, too, might discover the undeniable truth.
Printed books, you see, are a romantic scam. They are an anachronism, as useful in modern life as the cassette tape, the fax machine and the rotary phone. Trust me. I have seen the light. I have a Kindle and I'm never going back.
I'm surprised how easy it is to say this given the decades I spent lining walls and overloading bedside tables with books in the belief they helped define who I was. Yes, I was a paid-up member of that self-congratulatory tribe who regard a heaving bookshelf as a moral compass - a trophy cabinet signalling seriousness, curiosity and intellect.
Their lure was profound and irresistible. The creased spines and dog-eared pages of second-hand science fiction paperbacks provided an escape pod for a shy, nerdy kid with an overactive imagination. The addiction only intensified as I grew older. My first paltry paycheck served as the opening downpayment on a leather bound Encyclopedia Britannica set. I lurked in bookshops and libraries, mesmerised by antique hardcovers, their brittle pages stained like liver spots on ageing skin, a junkie inhaling the musty aroma of pages caressed by countless hands.
Whenever I moved house the detritus of everyday life - clothes, utensils and kitchenware - was stuffed uncaringly into bags and car boots. But books were lovingly placed in padded boxes, their pages and accumulated dust zealously protected from potential water damage.
The obsession drove my wife crazy. Last year she bought me a Kindle. I peered disdainfully at this lightweight slab of plastic I pompously believed would drain the soul of storytelling. It was a gimmick, surely. Even the act of turning a page without first licking a finger seemed counter-intuitive.
But within days I realised how my devotion to the old ways had been keeping me from something I'd always claimed to be so passionate about - the pure act of reading.
E-book readers are perfect examples of how modern technology should work. Holidays once involved anguished decisions about how many heavy tomes could fit in a suitcase. Now I can haul an entire library without worrying over weight limits. Books that could take weeks to be delivered now appear instantaneously. Waiting rooms and train platforms - those awkward places prone to interruptions and unfriendly to the book lover - have turned me into a more voracious reader.
Another miracle: the battery life of a Kindle, unlike so many modern devices, lasts an implausibly long time. It only took days to go from snob to shameless eBook supporter and understand that the medium doesn't matter. The essence of a good book is not the sum of its wood pulp, glue and ink, but its words.
Despite our innate yearning to cling to the past - yes, I'm talking about those nostalgic music aficionados who still insist vinyl LPs produce a "purer" sound than any digital counterpart - the Kindle represents another part of a quiet domestic revolution that has made life easier.
We may lament the good old days, but does anyone still weep for those frustrating years when we relied on an old street directory or a cumbersome map balanced awkwardly on our knees to negotiate our way through darkened streets filled with numberless houses?
That same revolution which brought us GPS-guided software introduced us to the coffee pod machine and replaced video cassettes and DVDs with streaming services. The coffee still tastes fine - even better on most occasions - and favourite movies still look and sound the same.
Sure, sometimes I miss the aroma of an old book. But just like the Kindle and those other devices that have slipped into our lives, a decent substitute is always available.
Yesterday I ordered a cheap scented candle guaranteed to replicate the fusty, leathery scent of an old bookshop. There's now plenty of room for it on the bedside table.
HAVE YOUR SAY: Are you an eBook convert or do printed books remain your preferred way to read? What other modern devices either frustrate you or have made life simpler? Email us: echidna@theechidna.com.au
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IN CASE YOU MISSED IT:
- Mobile phones around the country will blast out a 10-second siren in late July as part of a national test of Australia's new emergency warning system.
- The families of Australian officials in the Middle East have been told to leave as experts warn of a high likelihood of military action in the region.
- The internet watchdog will track thousands of Australian families to assess the impact of the world-first social media ban on teenagers.
THEY SAID IT: "Books are no more threatened by Kindle than stairs by elevators." - Stephen Fry
YOU SAID IT: The renewed talk about high speed rail and the commitment of millions of dollars towards it feels like Groundhog Day.
"I read your piece on HSR while on the Hume highway and M5 on a Canberra to Sydney bus," writes Martin. "Say no more! I would gladly settle for a somewhat faster rail to get the rail trip down to two hours."
Neil writes: "Every time I see a headline or an announcement on High Speed Rail in Australia I roll my eyes in disbelief. Why do political leaders always want to leave a legacy to the nation from their leadership? Next question is why can't they just govern for the people rather than their ego or idealism? $230 million for an advancement of the high speed rail project is unfathomable when we all know that money could do wonderful things for our health systems and schools out here in the bush."
"If we extracted more revenue from the pillage of our natural resources we might be able to afford large infrastructure projects," writes Rob. "Sadly, we can't even build the road networks we need to service our growing urban populations without resorting to public/private enterprises, for which the users pay tolls on forever. To be realistic though it is hard to fund massive projects with our small population base. And the regulatory burden infrastructure projects have to negotiate is huge. Not to mention that the proposed route crosses some expensive real estate and some formidable terrain."
Phil writes: "If you live in the centre of Newcastle and work in the centre of Sydney it would still be an expensive trip to work. I used to make the trip from Horsley Park to Callaghan, a two-hour drive up the M7, M2 and Pacific highway. High Speed Rail would make the journey an hour longer at least ,depending on waiting time at train stations. Unless the connecting infrastructure is drastically improved it will only be of use to a limited population."
"The people who want to build the train say it will boost the economy by $250 billion over 50 years," writes Erik. "In other words, $5 billion per year, a drop in the ocean. That's from those who want to build it so without doubt it's an exaggerated amount, just like the actual cost will bear no relationship to the stated cost. And who is going to catch it? In its initial phase, it will run Newcastle to Gosford. How many people use that corridor outside of peak time? And would they be willing to pay the much higher ticket price for getting there 30 minutes earlier? This is a nonsense and the $230 million initial planning cost is yet another waste of money just given to consultants who will likely conclude at the end that it is not feasible, like all the other ones have done in the past."
Deb writes: "Maybe we should focus on faster trains rather than very fast trains. The Tilt Train in Queensland is capable of reaching quite high speeds but is limited because of poor quality tracks. Building decent tracks to allow ordinary trains to travel at their maximum speeds would go some way towards reducing the current travel times."
"I clearly remember a very enthusiastic crowd at a meeting in Canberra discussing the potential for HSR along the east coast - in 1988. So yeah - believe it when I see it," writes Bernie.
Catherine writes: "Having travelled on the Eurostar between London and Paris, I agree that the efficiency, comfort, style and thrill is a wonderful experience. However working as a railway engineer for a quarter of a century I also realise the complexity of the current proposal. I have this feeling that the kite flying election warm pie in the sky idea is precisely that!"
"I have been on the very fast train hobbyhorse for decades," writes Patricia. "All I can say is, that infrastructure is covering the ground, homes have been built, no provision has been made for the train route. I would happily vote for somebody who I thought would carry this through. I can't see it ever happening. If it ever happens between Sydney and Melbourne, you just know that it will not go directly through Canberra. It will still go via the vastly aggravating Yass stop. So no real advantage for politicians and others who wish to zip from Sydney to Canberra."
Alan from Ulladulla writes: "We do not need, nor can we justify, the expense of a VFT in Australia with its 27.5 million population spread out along a very long eastern seaboard, notwithstanding a significant private sector investment, given our commitment to AUKUS and the nuclear submarine white elephants. What we do need is a more capable and fast regular rail network with modern rolling stock capable of running at 160-200 km/h on much improved track infrastructure, and extended to where the population is located. A straight line into Canberra, a city of almost half a million, would be a good start, followed by a south coast line in NSW from Nowra to Eden and beyond, perhaps linking up with a Victorian extension from Bairnsdale."
"Having travelled on high speed rail in Europe, the advantages compared with air travel are obvious," writes Helen. "Boarding and getting off the train is so much simpler, and we see scenery, although it does whizz past fairly fast. And there is much more space. Not packed together like sardines. Whether we will ever get it here is debatable. It has been discussed and discarded for much of my adult life. Maybe my great grandchildren will see it come to pass. I certainly won't."
Paul writes: "This plan is not only essential, it is inevitable. Transport experts have confirmed the Newcastle-Sydney rail link will be at capacity by 2040 and the road link between the cities is already near capacity. Time to decide. Do we build another low speed rail line? Another road? Or a high speed rail link which will not only massively reduce travel times but also reduce both the road traffic and even more importantly traffic on the old rail line, allowing more freight to travel by rail while reducing the number of trucks on the highway."