This isn't what I expected from a UNESCO World Heritage-listed folk performance.
On stage, a butcher brandishes a pair of testicles, freshly cut from a slaughtered bull, and tries to sell them to the men in the audience as a virility aid. "You old gentlemen with your young wives," he says. "You can't do without these balls!"
Cue raucous laughter, which turns to borderline hysteria when a middle-aged Korean woman approaches the stage to inspect the merchandise and give them a squeeze.
This masked performance has been staged in the small South Korean village of Hahoe for around 500 years. Originally practised as a shamanistic ritual to drive away evil spirits, it features a series of theatrical vignettes featuring characters wearing expressive wooden masks.
Accompanied by a rousing live band and English translations displayed on a TV screen, the satirical dance tackles perennial themes of lust, corruption and social injustice.
In one particularly bizarre scene, a Buddhist monk falls in love with a young woman after watching her urinate in the forest (as one does). "Drop this Buddhist gig!" he exclaims. "I gotta do some dance with that lass over there and have fun!"
The entertaining one-hour performance would be reason enough to visit Hahoe, located 225 kilometres southeast of Seoul, but it's just one of many compelling attractions in this UNESCO World Heritage-listed hamlet of around 230 residents.
I'm here as part of Explore Worldwide's Discover South Korea trip, a 12-day itinerary that includes headline acts like Seoul and Busan, plus less-heralded gems such as Hahoe and Gwangju.
After a 2.5-hour high-speed train ride from Seoul to Andong, we're delivered to Hahoe by private bus. Our first stop is the Hahoe Mask Museum, which claims to be the country's first museum dedicated to masks.
Housing more than 800 masks from all over the world, it presents an intriguing insight into how masks have been used across cultures. Highlights range from bejewelled Venetian Carnival masks to a frankly terrifying Balinese Rangda mask depicting a bulging-eyed, child-eating witch.
Once the mask performance has finished, our guide, Sky, leads us on a stroll through the village, which is renowned for its mask-making heritage and Joseon Dynasty-era hanok architecture.
As we wander the narrow dirt laneways, she explains that the handsome wooden-framed buildings with sweeping tiled roofs once housed the ruling aristocracy, while the simpler, mud-walled thatched residences were reserved for their servants.
As one of Korea's best-preserved clan-based villages, Hahoe has been the home of the Ryu clan since the 15th century. It also produced two of the nation's most celebrated historical brothers. Born in 1539, Ryu Un-ryong became a highly acclaimed Confucian scholar.
Not to be outdone, his younger sibling Ryu Seong-ryong rose to the position of prime minister in the 1590s, famously helping repel a violent 16th-century Japanese invasion.
During a visit to Chunghyodang House, a grand 17th-century residence built by Seong-ryong's grandson, Sky points out a "snobby rope" - a cord hanging near the entrance that residents would hold to steady themselves while extending a foot so a servant could put on their shoe. Now that's the life.
Fittingly, the house is one of the sites Queen Elizabeth II visited during a tour of the village in 1999. She was reportedly brought to Hahoe after asking to see "the most Korean place in Korea". A plaque reveals that her son, the former Prince Andrew, also came here in 2019. Although I'm guessing residents don't boast about that anymore.
As if Hahoe's historical, cultural and architectural significance weren't already enough, it's also an aesthetic delight. Set on a bend in the Nakdong River, the village is surrounded by a photogenic medley of lush rice paddies, lotus-filled ponds and forested escarpments.
When I visit in October, the pathways are lined with bright purple asters and the persimmon trees are laden with orange fruit. Come in spring and you'll be treated to a fanfare of cherry blossom.
It's an unlikely setting for a salacious butcher peddling bovine genitalia. But that's what makes South Korea so appealing. One minute you're watching the latest K-pop sensation on a giant LED screen in high-tech Seoul, the next, you're witnessing a 500-year-old shamanistic mask dance in a rural village.
Hopefully, the nation can continue to preserve its historical traditions as it sprints towards modernity. Places like Hahoe are an encouraging sign.
The writer travelled as a guest of Explore Worldwide