Two years to the day since Noel McLaughlin's wife was killed in the most horrific of ways he is being honoured with a bravery award for helping to save others.
As the grief-stricken father of two tries to come to terms with the ferocious death of his Wollongong-born wife Jade Young, he told the Mercury the honour was very surreal.
Monday, April 13, marks two years since Joel Cauchi ran through Westfield Bondi Shopping Centre and fatally stabbed six strangers and injured 10 others.
In just three minutes Jade, 47, was killed along with Dawn Singleton, 25, Ashlee Good, 38, Pikria Darchia, 55, Yixuan Cheng, 27 and Faraz Tahir, 30.
Amid the horror and unfathomable loss on that day heroes were made, and on the day before the anniversary eight people, including Noel, were recognised for their bravery.
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Noel and nurse Catherine Ann Molihan, who provided first aid for two stabbing victims, received a Commendation for Brave Conduct.
While still not up to a media interview, Noel said it had been a very difficult two years for himself and his daughters since Jade's death.
Killed while shopping with her daughter
Noel and Jade grew up in Wollongong and first met when they were students at The Illawarra Grammar School (TIGS), they went on to fall in love, marry and have two daughters.
At the time Jade was killed, their daughters were nine and 13 years old.
Jade was standing next to her youngest daughter when she was fatally stabbed, the duo had been shopping for a birthday present.
Moments later, about 3.33pm, Noel received a call from his daughter on Jade's phone to tell him what had happened.
'He has a knife, he has a knife'
As he ran towards his wife and their daughter on level four of the centre, he encountered Cauchi on level three.
It was 3.35pm and he could see Cauchi was walking and holding a knife in his hand.
"He has a knife, he has a knife," Noel repeatedly yelled to alert other shoppers who quickly moved back.
Suddenly Cauchi was less than one metre away and he began lifting the knife towards Noel.
"What are you doing?" Noel said.
Realising he had nothing to defend himself with, Noel turned and ran to where his wife and daughter were and he found Jade lying down outside the RM Williams shop.
"Help, help," he yelled as he ran to his wife.
Two bystanders rushed to him and tried to control bleeding from Jade's wounds as they rotated CPR.
At 3.40pm police arrived to help Jade, and paramedics eight minutes later, but she died from her injuries.
'It can bring me to tears at times'
As Jade's parents Elizabeth and Ivan Young waited in their Wollongong home on Friday, April 10, for the arrival of their granddaughters for a three-day stay, her mum said the visit would be bittersweet.
Noel and Jade's girls, now aged 11 and 15, have struggled since their mum was killed, the whole family has.
"It's loud and wonderful, and we've been looking after Jade's puppy. In fact, he's just at the end of my bed," Mrs Young said of the visits by her granddaughters.
Jade took her beloved dog Teddy the schnauzer almost everywhere with her and during his short stay in Wollongong this week he has brought Mr and Mrs Young joy.
They take him to the beach daily where he "romps and looks for rabbits".
"It's a bittersweet thing, it can bring me to tears at times," Mrs Young said.
"He's such a clown and on the other side of it he's been a therapy dog for the whole family."
Amid the joy though there is still so much anger that Jade died, that five others died, and that the NSW coroner found failures lead to the mass killing.
Mrs Young said while some families of those killed would revisit the shopping centre on Monday to mark the two-year anniversary, she would not.
She is private and needs some space to grieve and reflect and remember her daughter.
