Heading off on holiday with three (or more) generations in tow sounds idyllic. Lazy, hazy days of relaxation and connection, of wine and roses, of lovely lasting memories and enhanced affection.
At least that's what it looked like in the glossy brochure. But in practice, it can resemble a UN summit about the Middle East with Donald Trump in charge of splitting the bill.
The reality is an intergenerational holiday could go either way. Of course, there will be moments of tension. But what fam event doesn't? Nevertheless, sharing the grandeur of the world through the eyes of varying wrinkles and life experience is the stuff of family legend. It's up to you if you're the Griswolds or the Waltons or the Corleones.
The economics can be excellent, as a big group may be able to afford better digs. Sharing the costs of transfers and accommodation makes sense (at least until everyone discovers the minibar), and you'll probably be able to borrow rather than buy the stuff people have forgotten to pack.
The first thing to discard is democracy. Agreement about anything, including something as simple as the definition of "a short walk", is as likely as the teens cleaning up, so a dictatorship is the preferred form of governance. Or at least a powerful bloc that can wield power with impunity (i.e., whoever is paying). Budding insurrections must be crushed early, and are best managed by withholding toys, phone chargers or medications, depending on the insurgent(s).
Herding intergenerational cats makes scheduling crucial. With the very young up at sparrow's and teens typically rising some eight hours later, building an itinerary is tougher than Samsonite. Gen Z laggards can usually be motivated by food or hanging their phones in front of them on a string, and babies and boomers must align their nap times.
Deciding on a dinner venue is one of the tougher issues. The choice of burgers versus Thai versus pizza is the sort of thing that tears families apart, and the pineapple topping debate is still to come. Let alone a few bevvies and discussions about who's in the will, and why grandpa has prunes instead of Froot Loops for breakfast.
Taking the "money shot" family photo requires luck, timing, patience and diplomacy. And probably threats and bribery. (See toys, chargers and meds above.) Nevertheless, a successful pic will hold pride of place in everyone's home, a testament to love, resilience and lessons well learned.
A few years back, in a major logistical coup, we assembled 13 disparate family members, from Gen Z to Boomers, for a holiday in Bali. They came from Sydney, Perth and Cairns, with hope in their hearts and insufficient rupiah in their pockets. It was a crazy, chaotic, hilarious week; a family get-together of rare and wonderful memories. Time moves on, priorities change and life throws up challenges, so our week together in a huge villa in Seminyak has become a lifetime highlight we will never be able to repeat
Cruising is an excellent intergen travel option, especially on big ships specifically set up to entertain. Some cruise lines have tracking tags so you can check the locations of little ones, or older ones, who have been lured to the water park and mahjong tournament respectively. There are also plenty of dining alternatives, as well as nooks and crannies for sooks and grannies who need a time out.
I once took my then-80-year-old mum on a cruise, and we had a lovely catch-up. We were living on opposite sides of the wide brown land, and while it was just the two of us, Shirley shared memories of her first cruise with other generations who joined us for dinner. Channelling Old Rose from the movie Titanic, Shirley reminisced about her grand adventure in the autumn of 1952 aboard the cargo vessel Moreton Bay to England. She went into a bit too much detail regarding her onboard romances for my comfort, but our fellow diners lapped it up like hot soup.
This is the sort of unguarded moment that intergenerational travel can bring. That week with my dear departed mum is now cherished family lore.